King and Queen of Crime
by MamaPiimp
Summary: [AU] S-Rank hitmen working under the Strawhats King, Bartolomeo and Robin were rumored to not work out as a partnership. That's where they surprised everyone in that they worked almost too well together. WARNING: IMPLIED CANNIBALISM in most drabbles. Just a drabble collection for this AU. (BartoxRobin)
1. Typical Sunday

**B's Note -**

 **THERE IS GOING TO BE HEAVILY IMPLIED CANNIBALISM IN ALL ( OR MOST OF) THESE DRABBLES. **

Another AU for One Piece carried over from my Robin blog, as with BadSun, all plots of these writings have been talked with my writing partner. If this isn't your cup of tea, that is quite fine and please move along!

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"Cut the shit, " Bartolomeo sleepily listened to his partner on the phone. Issues between her and the boss again, or well the Boss' right hand. She may have been in the room across the hall, but when base pissed her off, everyone could hear. Though her voice was suddenly muffled, so he closed his eyes to go back to sleep.

This happened every Sunday it seemed, he wasn't overly fond of when she was mad. Pushing himself up from his comfortable place, Barto got out of bed and shuffled to the door. Half awake, he dragged one of his hands along the wall as he made his way to the kitchen. _Fridge_. He hissed at the cold tile, but opened the refrigerator and pulled out one of the plastic container. Opening the plastic box, he pulled out two baked and seasoned digits. A pinky for him and a ring finger for his doll, grabbing a small plate he put the fingers onto the dish. Sealing the container and putting it away, Barto shut the fridge.

Plate in hand, he shuffled back down the hallway and went into her study. She was still shouting into the phone, but he took it from him. "Oi, shut the fuck up. It's Sunday, we're not doin' shit." Robin stared at him, with a look of mild anger, but the cannibal ignored it. Instead he hung up the phone, grabbed her hand with his free one and tugged her to the door. She stumbled a step before letting him pull her back to bed, neither of them really dressed for the day. Slightly baggy lounge pants on him, and she was still in her lace lingerie set.

"Do you realize who I was talkin-"

He cut her off, holding the ring finger out for her. "Shaddap, it's Sunday, _doll_. You shouldn't have gotten out of bed. Eat." Barto didn't let her take it, no that cheeky asshole held it between his teeth. Robin knew what he was up to, yet she played along. Most people, more so teenagers played this game with chocolate sticks. Not this pair, they played it with human fingers that he brought home.

He won, the first one anyway but she made sure to not hesitate with the smaller finger. They didn't kiss without playing this game or over a shared heart. It just wasn't something of importance to them, instead they shared quiet Sunday afternoons sleeping all day and going out for late night snacks. The kiss tasted of the seasoning mixed with a hint of blood. He pulled her against him, after moving the plate off of the bed and onto the nightstand. Feeling his face against her neck, Robin sighed, there was no way out of his grip. A small gasp escaped her lips as he fell back on to the bed, laughing at the noise she made.

"No more phone calls today." He huffed, causing Robin to laugh. She hummed in agreement, "One condition though. We go out for hearts tonight." The cannibal gave her a smirk, "Ya gotta deal, doll." He answered as she wrapped her arms around his neck.


	2. True Love Hurts

**B's Note** \- Another drabble around a prompt - "my muse will react to finding your muse with them and then remembering that your muse died a long time ago." I have some rare pairs and this is one of them. (BartolomeoxRobin)

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They were partners for ten years, longer than most in the Strawhat family. To be honest, they struggled with dealing with each other for the first four years of this partnership. It turned a bit more than they thought, but it worked with their crazy lifestyle. Weekends of snacking on some wayward bodies Barto brought home, to her fretting when he went on solo missions. He never told her that he got worried when she had stealth missions, not vocally anyways.

Robin always waited in the kitchen for him to come home, it was a strange habit she had come to have. Though he never minded, it meant kisses and talks about dinner. So like any other day he got sent out on a job, she waited. Glancing periodically to the door, she swayed in place. This was taking much to long for his job, from how it sounded in the few messages before he went to start it it should have been done by now. Worry was starting to set in and she moved to the door, poking her head into the hall.

Stepping back into their place, Robin shut and locked the door. Walking to lay on the couch to wait for him. She always did this if he was late, try and stay awake to greet him because it made him happy. A voice broke her thoughts moments later, "'ey doll, sorry 'm late." Robin opened her eyes and smiled at him leaning over the back of the couch at her. Shifting to sit up she leaned against his arm as it felt like him kiss the top of her head. "Did you get lost or held up by grunts again?"

Bartolomeo laughed, "Bit a both, brought snacks home though." Robin hummed in response, reaching for one of his hands she interlaced their fingers rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb. "Maybe later, I got worried about you…." The raven shifted to sit on her knees and look up at him. "Could you message me next time?" He chuckled, and squeezed her hand.

" 'ey doll? I love you."

It felt like he bumped his forehead to her's so she closed her eyes. They always bumped foreheads like this, but when she opened her eyes and saw he wasn't there her heart broke again. It completely felt shattered as she remembered losing him four years ago. Tears welled up in her eyes and she buried her face against her arm, wanting to scream but not disturb the others on compound near her place.

Gods why did it hurt so much, Robin didn't stop the tears. There would be no more late night snacks, no more sneaking out for divine hands, no more indulgences. Nothing, just a broken woman who lost her cannibal and refused another to replace him. No one could replace him, not now and not ever.

She stayed on the couch all night, the bed was too big now and much too lonely. "I miss you so damn much."


End file.
